Stress>Resistance

Stress Management 

Reducing Resistance To Change

We tend to believe that people resist change.  But people make major life changes every day - they move house, change jobs, get married, start families, learn new technologies, develop skills, take up hobbies, the list goes on.  Some of these changes are smooth, but some of them aren't.  

So why are people are people willing to change in one situation and resistant to it in another? 

The answer may surprise you...

Because people don't resist change, they resist being changed.

How you cope with change depends largely on how much control you feel you have over the change.  Are you choosing the change, or is the change being forced upon you?  If you are choosing the change, it may be uncomfortable, you may not like it, but you do it anyway because you choose to...   However, if change is being forced upon you, you are probably using your own power to regain some control - and this power is called resistance.

In times of transition, it is useful to understand your own reactions and your resistance to change and be able to manage your emotional state in the present moment accordingly.   But, here's the problem: When our future is uncertain, we have a hard time functioning in the present.

So what can you do?

Take complexities out of your life.  If you are making things more complicated than they need to be, then un-complicate them.  Break tasks down to achievable chucks and take action.

Take action.  If there is something you've been avoiding because you don't feel like it - that is probably resistance.  Committ to 10 minutes of action.  That's all.  Just 10 minutes.  Put a timer on and sit down and focus on the task for 10 minutes.  At the end of 10 minutes you can decide if you want to continue for another 10 minutes (or hour) or if you will return to the task for 10 minutes tomorrow.  You'll be amazed at how much you can get done in 10 minutes, and how it gives you a sense of taking control of the situation.

Give yourself some control.  You can't control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it.  For example, if someone spills coffee over your shirt, you can yell and scream and kick up a fuss, or you can choose to react calmly, like a reasonable human being.  How do you want to be remembered?   As a hot-head or as someone who cares?   The choice is yours.   If you don't think you can control your reactions, then how come if you like someone you are more forgiving than if you don't like them?  

Finally,  make it real.  Know what you want to achieve, choose your course of action, take action - and most importantly, be kind to yourself (and others) when things don't go your way.   

Instead of worrying about what life will be like tomorrow, focus on these little things that can improve today.