Stress>Resilience>Resilience Secret 2

Stress Management | Building Resilience

Resilience Secret #2 - "The 3 F's of Life: Fun, Fulfillment & Freedom"

Is your list looking balanced.  Another way to build resilience is to have a life balanced in fun, fulfillment and freedom.  Be sure to include items on your list from all three categories.  I recommend that out of every 5 items, that 1 item be fun, 1 item gives you a sense of fulfilment, 1 gives you a sense of freedom, and the 2 remaining can be a combination.  For example, having coffee and cake with a friend can be fun (enjoying company), fulfillment (try a new cafe or a new flavour coffee)  and freedom (permission to have your cake and eat it too!)  

Here's how I see "The 3 F's of Life"

Fun: These are likely to be the items already on your list. Take a few moments and add two of three more items

Fulfillment:  Think in terms of having achieved something - reaching a goal.  What are your goals?  Fulfillment can come from big goals (buying a house, getting married) and little goals (weeding the garden, cleaning the kitchen). It isn't the goal that's important, it's the movement towards the direction.  Make your goals achievable and spend 10 minutes per day working moving in the direction.  e.g. spend 10 minutes per day doing building your website, cleaning your kitchen, etc, and see how it feels. If you feel the old friend resistance, put on the oven time, and just commit to 10 minutes. At the end of 10 minutes STOP!
Click here to learn more about resistance.     

Freedom: To "feel free" is to "feel permitted" to do something, for example, feel free to stay for dinner, or free help yourself to another serving. Freedom can also come from giving yourself permission to do something (manicure, pedicure, massage, etc). Perhaps it could even been freedom to feel you have nothing in common with your children and permission to spend time with people you do have things in common with.

Task Two: Check if your resiliency resources help you

Stop for a moment and look at the list.

• How many of these things have you done in the last week? 
• How many have you not given yourself permission (freedom) to do for quite some time? 
• How full is your “piggy bank”? 

Start by putting a “W” beside all the items you have done in the last week and an “M” beside the items you’ve done in the last month.  

If you’ve done 50% of the items on your list in the last week, you’ve probably had a good week.  It it’s up to 75%, you’ve probably had a great week.  But what happens when it drops to 30%, or 25%, or 10%?  If you have done nothing pleasant in the past week, life is probably looking rather grim and you could be heading towards burnout or depression.  

If, like many people, you can’t “afford” to spend $ on yourself – the good news is, you don’t have to!  Luxuries don’t have to cost much (or anything at all).   Which takes us to Resilience Secret 3 -  the cost of resiliency and having frugal luxuries.